Better than a sharp stick in the eye

There's a kind of day for which the English language has no word. It isn't a day where everything goes wrong. Nor is it a day where one important thing goes catastrophically wrong. It's a day where, despite your best intentions and efforts, you mess up any number of minor things.

Many of your sentences come out poorly worded. You drink the last cup of your loved one's favorite tea only to find later that she did want it, after all. You fail to understand simple explanations of what you are doing while cooking dinner. If you try to compensate, by trying to pay more attention, you'll do that poorly too. You'll over-explain, rendering your speech incomprehensible. You'll over-analyze, making your actions ineffective and seemingly erratic. Finaly, you'll over-apologize, making your other people around you worry that it's them and not you that's mucking up the day...

Luckily, days do end.

Food so fast it scurries...

I went to PetCo with my lady today, to get food for her snake - the food being small rats, neatly frozen. The little ratsickles come in their own pleasantly decorated bag emblazoned with cute sketched mice and snakes chasing each other about. I was faced with a healthy dose of human folly when my lady had me read the bag.

"Not for human consumption" in small, friendly letters.

Now, I hate to think why they felt the need for that disclaimer. Is my species so dumb that even the literate ones might try to eat frozen rats from a pet supply store? I mean, putting aside the squig factor, it isn't cost effective. You'd get more food for your buck at Taco Bell.

That right, folks. Taco Bell is cheaper than rats. Consider that the next time you feel the urge to run for the border...