Auspicious Beginning? I dunno...

[ursangnome]

So, in an attempt to make myself into a more attractive candidate for teaching positions, I've signed up with a number of school districts to do some substitute teaching. My home town of Medford was the first to get through the paperwork, so earlier this week, they called me to let me know I was now on the phone list.

They asked when I would be available. This week, with a number of interviews, the only day I had open was Wednesday. Given that each school district has more subs than they can use at any given moment, and that Wednesday is usually not a big day for subs, I figured that the chances of my getting called this week were slim. More the fool me.

At 6 AM, the alarm went off, as usual. My Lady set off for her morning ablutions. I sank back into the bed for a moment, and the phone rang. Medford wanted me to sub at a local middle school. I tell them that I can be there, and the woman on the other end heads off to call other subs for other holes.

I check the handy-dandy list of schools the district gave me. 3000 Mystic Valley Parkway. Mapquest and Yahoo both say that it is within a mile of my home. I look at the map they give me, and my brain says to me, "Me, you know damned well there is no school on that part of Mystic Valley Parkway. You drive that section of road every time you go to the grocery. There ain't no school there." Well, brain, I'm sorry, but that's the address, and I'm committed.

I pick up the sandwich my Lady so thoughtfully made for me, and catch the granola bar she tosses me in lieu of the breakfast I missed looking all this up, and I head off, on foot, in the rain. In the rain and wind that made my umbrella nigh useless.

My brain was correct. Whoever claims this school is on Mystic Valley Parkway needs their head examined, preferably with a power drill. It is on the road only in the sense that the school property abuts the road. Abuts the road, if you don't count the river between them. If you are on the Parkway, you cannot get to the school. At this point, I'm finding the whole thing too absurd to do anything but laugh at it. I think some drivers were left wondering why this big, wet guy was laughing his head off on the roadside. I hope I made their days more surreal.

But anyway, I find the place after much walking. I get into the main office soaking wet, sign in, and wait to be told where to go. I am instead told that I'm in the wrong school. I want the next building over. So, I go to that building, and get sent off to teach my first ever substitute assignment.

A gym class. An entire day of middle school gym class. A cold day in wet clothes in a middle school gym class. Here kid, have a basketball. Go to.

And, at day's end, I walk back home, again in the rain. I get into my apartment, get out of my cold, wet clothes, make a pot of tea, and only then see the rain stop and the sun come out...

Oi.

Comments

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

A gym class? I would think they'd at least try to stay within your area of expertise... is this totally random?

[umbran.livejournal.com]

Yep. It is pretty much totally random. For one-day substitutes, you don't need to be certified to teach anything at all. They don't care what you are best at. The idea is to get a basically responsible adult body into place.

In their defense, generally these folks have two hours to find subs for the entire district. That's two hours to make... 40 to 80 phone calls to fill all the slots. They don't have time to match up specialties.

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

I suppose that's understandable under the circumstances, but it's still a little frightening. I wonder, if a gym teacher got assigned to physics, could you switch? :-)

[tafkad.livejournal.com]

I subbed for a year or two in Connecticut, many years ago. The educational requirement was "completed two years of college." I had a degree in English. Yes, the matchups are completely random, based solely on which teachers are missing. I "taught" everything from high school physics down to kindergarten art.

Most of my classes were in the high school (probably 100-120 days out of 180). For the most part, what was expected was that I take attendance, let the students know what was required of them for the period, let the students know their homework assignment, administer any quizzes that might be scheduled, and write a brief report to the teacher. Remember how the kids assumed the subs were glorified babysitters? It's true, really.

Every now and again, the missing teacher would neglect to give a "busywork" assignment, so I'd take the opportunity to teach for real. This blew the kids' minds, because they couldn't just pretend they were working on the assignment, and some of the kids were ***REALLY*** grateful when I'd review stuff for their upcoming exams. It also blew the administration's minds, and they loved it. I wasn't qualified to teach full time (needed a Bachelor's in Education, and needed to be working on a Master's in my subject), but they definitely liked the work I did for them.

For elementary school substitution, I *was* expected to teach, because having the kids just do busywork all day long was WAAAAY too much to expect of ten-year-olds. Those were fun, too.

And then I left town to go get my Master's.

[sdorn.livejournal.com]

Wow. Well, at least you can teach a bit about physics in a gym or music class. Theoretically. If the students aren't handing you your head on a plate (which I hope they weren't yesterday).